A change is gonna come. Senior Customer Success (SaaS) Engineer.

Moses. Now there was a guy who could handle change.

There are 2 versions of this ad. Below is the anodyne version. Bonus points if you can find the more analeptic version. And provide proof of your quest. Good luck!

• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will work for a high-growth, customer-centric, London-based SaaS business.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will earn a fully negotiable salary plus benefits.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will enjoy a strong work/life balance culture and hybrid working.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will be the human face of an award-winning suite of tech products.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will be an agent of change and the driving force behind our CS function.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will elevate the customer experience within our key accounts.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will ensure our customers derive the maximum ROI and benefit from their product investment.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will advocate the highest levels of customer satisfaction and represent their interests.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will lead strategic reviews, maturity assessments and executive workshops.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will drive adoption and engagement, and be a brand ambassador i.e. the face of our product.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will be highly persuasive and able to persuade customers to embark on a journey.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will work with Sales to identify and expand new business opportunities within key accounts.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will work with Account Management to bolster retention and renewals.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will work with Product to develop new capabilities and offerings.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will work with Marketing to share positive customer journeys and encourage customer advocacy.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will boast a STEM Bachelors and/or Masters qualification.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will be a highly accomplished individual, both personally and professionally.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will have first-class communication skills, both written and oral.
• The Senior Customer Success Engineer will have entrepreneurial flair, a can-do attitude, be hungry, ambitious, innovative and self-sufficient.