Why this Junior C# .NET Developer position is like ballet. (City of London)

There are 2 versions of this ad. Below is the anaemic version. Bonus points if you can find the more analeptic version. And provide proof of your quest. Good luck!

• The Junior Back End Developer will work for a fast-growing SaaS business in central London.
• The Junior Back End Developer will earn £35,000 per annum, and potentially more for exceptional candidates.
• The Junior Back End Developer will be comfortable with hybrid working on a 4+1 basis.
• The Junior Back End Developer will be part of a strong work/life balance culture.
• The Junior Back End Developer will be familiar with the C# .NET ecosystem.
• The Junior Back End Developer will have some understanding of Typescript, HTML and CSS.
• The Junior Back End Developer uses GitHub and is probably involved with MeetUps.
• The Junior Back End Developer loves to write clean and maintainable code.
• The Junior Back End Developer writes code that is performant over large datasets.
• The Junior Back End Developer knows about SQL, AWS, Python and Powershell.
• The Junior Back End Developer will enjoy huge amounts of ownership and autonomy.
• The Junior Back End Developer will refactor existing code to improve application performance.
• The Junior Back End Developer will contribute to the analysis, troubleshooting and resolution of technical issues.
• The Junior Back End Developer will work closely with the product team to translate business requirements into technical solutions.
• The Junior Back End Developer will stay up-to-date with the latest industry trends and cutting-edge technology.

Still with us? Great. Then please send us a CV and covering letter convincing us that you actually enjoyed reading this ad. We look forward to hearing from you.